I don't kiss you... Because I love you.

A little something I wrote quite awhile ago that I thought I'd share:
  
         “If you love someone, then you kiss them to show it.” Wait, how about instead of that we think, “I don’t kiss you… Because I love you.” Some of you are probably thinking, “wait… what?” I know it might sound a little absurd at first, but allow me to explain…

            A kiss, an innocent physical act with no side effects to show someone how much you love them. Sounds simple enough, right? But hold on for a moment… Why are you kissing them again? Because you ‘love’ them? No, think deeper. Of course you may feel physical attraction to the person you are with, but is it really love, or is it lust? A kiss that is not with the person you will spend forever with doesn’t really do anything if you think about it. Sure it ‘feels good’ but is it really ‘good’? It can invoke feelings in us that we never knew we had, and set us up for more serious temptations.

            Another thing to consider; who are you really kissing? Your girlfriend/boyfriend I know, but ok, you are also kissing the person they will be ten years from now. Until you say your vows at the altar you do not belong to each other. There is always a possibility that you will break up. Therefore you are not only potentially kissing another person’s future spouse, (Or a priest or Nun. Imagine how strange that would be!) But you are also giving away a tiny piece of your heart to that other person. Would you want your future spouse going around and kissing other people and giving pieces of his or her heart away? Imagine how beautiful it would be to give you whole heart to your future spouse instead of just the ‘leftovers’. My way of thinking about it is this: don’t do anything with anyone that you wouldn’t want someone to do with your future spouse, the one you will spend forever with. Because even if you think you're with the person that you are going to spend forever with, until you say your vows at the alter that person is not your spouse, so why treat them like they are?

One of my favorite quotes is from a woman called Crystalina Evert:
            “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or where you’ve been. All that matters is where you go from here.”
            So it doesn’t matter if you’re given your first kiss away and now you are sort of regretting it. You can choose to begin to live a pure life for your spouse right now.

            The Bible tells us that love is not selfish. At all. Kissing someone is a beautiful thing, however with no commitment what does it do? It creates a bond between two people and it ‘feels good’ but it makes breaking up a lot more painful. I can’t think of a reason to kiss someone that wouldn’t be partially due to my selfish reasons.

So brothers and sisters in Christ, we are all called to love one another as he loved us. So in our relationships with other people we should be focusing on the best for the other person. What’s best for them now, and 10, 20, 50 years from now; especially with members of the opposite sex. Realize that there is a desire for physical connection (After all God did give us that desire.) But talk about it, pray about it, and choose to help prepare the other person for their future spouse. Remember that you might only be in their life for a short time, but use that time to build them up for their soul mate. Not to tear them down with your own selfishness.

I am not trying to condemn kissing before marriage. I am simply asking you to think and pray about it. Love in God’s terms is not selfish in any way. I cannot honestly kiss someone who is not my husband without having a little selfish reason behind it. My first kiss will be at the altar. I don’t kiss you because I don’t like you, I don’t kiss you… Because I love you.